By Caroline Tay

Prior to my husband’s passing, I had always been a problem solver. I faced challenges head
on and always found a way to overcome them. But grief and pain were not
problems that I could solve. Losing my husband felt like losing a part of
myself, as if my whole world had collapsed overnight.

In the early days of my widowhood, I found it difficult to even function. The constant
loneliness made it hard to do even the simplest tasks, like making meals for
myself. Festive seasons were especially tough, as they served as reminders of
the moments I had shared with my late husband. It felt like there was no
meaning left in life. I was angry with God and felt lost in my own pain. Even
though I kept coming to church, instead of praying, I would only ask God, “Why
did you take him away from me?”

I felt like no one could truly understand what I was going through, and I struggled to find
myself again. That was until I met and spoke with another widow. It was as if
we just clicked, and it was such a relief to really feel heard and
understood.  There was a unique comfort
to know that someone else had experienced the pain of losing a spouse. There
was no judgement or shame in admitting how we truly felt.

I realized that this special bond of shared experience brought me strength that can only be
found in the support of another widow. For that reason, I started Widow to
Widow, a support group led by widows for widows. We have tailored
our ministry to meet the unique needs and experiences of those who have lost a
husband. Our goal is to create a safe and supportive space for those who have
experienced this specific type of loss and to provide ongoing support and
community for them.

It’s been a year and a half since my husband’s passing and I still have my difficult days. But
now, I know that I am not alone. Being part of a community has made me realise
the importance of sisterhood and the power of widows supporting other widows.
It has certainly made tough days easier to bear. Even through our grief we can
support each other to have the courage to face each new day.

Sometimes all a widow needs is another widow to be there for them. If you are interested,
please get in touch with me at 012 701 8185, or visit the SFX website for
further details on our ministry.